The Recap

Recapping a three-month trip in one post is quite a daunting task. Luckily, there aren't any space limitations (I wrote this in Wod, and it came to about eight pages single spaces. So take your time with this one). As a way to live my dream of actually holding a press conference, I will answer reader-submitted questions/Ian-submitted questions to provide some final mass e-mail thoughts on my summer.

Just as I did with my Israel recap post, I have written this dispatch from a Canadian highway (the last one was written between Jasper and Edmonton. This one is coming to you from between Petrolia and Etobicoke). Coincidence? Probably.

Well, before I open it up to your questions, I'd like to offer a brief opening statement about my summer.

Ian: It wasn't until I loaded all of my pictures onto my computer that I realized exactly how much I did this summer. I had the opportunity to see so many incredible things, from Galapagos to Macchu Picchu to Iguazu Falls to the beaches in Brazil and everything in between. But when you travel, you realize that the most memorable experiences or new perspectives don't come from being at major tourist sites. They come from the journey between. It's the locals you meet, overnight buses, the cab drivers, the interesting travelers you meet, the cultural differences, and immersing yourself in new culture that make this type of trip so memorable.

Peter Piper (of picking a peck of pickled pepper's phame): Give me a three-word alliteration to summarize your trip.

Ian: So, I'll break this one up into two parts. I have an alliteration that brings together the entire trip, and then I will have one for each country. There are repeats, because, well, I can't think of any other words right now that start with the same sound. At times, I went to the Phil Brickma School of Alliteration and Smart Travel.

For the entire trip: Cascao, Kwame, Cashapampa, kosher (the same thing as "vegetarian"), -quile (as in tranquilo")

Now, I'll break that one up by country.

Brazil: Cascao, Queijo con banana, Ceni, Cataratasq, Couchsurfing

Uruguay: Pony Pisador, Pleasant (I only spend 22 hours here, but I still have an alliteration, even though it's only between two items)

Peru: Huascaran, One-dollar lunches, Wonder

Ecuador: Tortuga, Tang, Tranuilo, ,

Argentina: Parilla, Papa, Palermo, Plaza de Mayo (just the madres), Paraguay? No,

Chile: ATM?, Atacama, Omellete, "On-time"

Me: What fears did you overcome?

Ian: Fire and bunk beds.

It's good that I've overcome my fear of bunk beds now. You know, so that I can sleep on the top bunk when I start going to overnight camp.

And, if I ever think about opening a hot dog cart, I would be comfortable lighting the flame. I have had no issues transferring fire, but the problem has been igniting it. But now, I don't have no issue with it

Rosie: Which country has the cutest old women?

Ian: This one is a tie. In Peru buses, you see these old native wmen, dressed in their traditional garb, missing teeth, and carrying about five hundred pounds worth of potatoes. If I were to choose one old woman as the cutest, it would be the woman in the bus station in Puno, Peru who tried to sell me her gloves. The only problem is that they were the gloves she was wearing and, fully extended, fit in my palm.

I also really like old, Brazilian couples dancing samba.

TMZ: Brushes with famous people?

Ian: While I was visiting the former presidential palace in Rio, I met some locals who helped translate the Portuguese from the exhibits. I really enjoyed talking with them and asked them what they were doing that night. They said that they always go to this bar with their friends, and that I was invited to come along.

I went back to my hostel and told the staff the name of the bar. They said that was mostly a gay bar, which worried me (not that there's anything wrong with that). Either there was something I didn't know about these two girls I met at the museum or they were playing a horrible trick on me. With a back-up plan in place if I felt horribly uncomfortable at this first bar, I set out to meet up with my new friends.

It turns out that my new friends are actors in Brazilian television, movies, and theater. I shmoozed it up with them and some of their other acting friends and had a great time.

I also met the son of an English parliament minister.

Everybody: How often did you shower?

Ian: At the beginning of my trip, I was showering at about the same rate I was sending out mass emails. As the trip wore on, I was showering much more frequently than I was sending out emails. It probably became about at 2:1 shower to email ratio.

Safire: What are your favorite new words?

Ian: Mochilerim. It is a Hebrew word for people who backpack in South America. In Spanish, "mochilla" means backpack. And "im" is the Hebrew suffix to pluralize something.

Successo – Protuguese for "success!"

Tudo ben. In Portuguese, it means :everything is all right." But In Brazil, It is a popular greeting, along the lines of "what's going on?" or "what's up?"

Tranquilo – Yes, this word means what you think it means. But it's much more frequently than it's English cognate. In Brazil, it's a common response to the "what's going on?" question. Actually, one of the friends I made in Brazil said that, when she first traveled in America, she responded to "how's it going?" with "tranquility." Now, she laughs about it.

But more than that. Throughout South America, tranquileo is how I would describe the mindset. Very laid back, take it easy, don't rush kind of attitudel.

Black and white cookie baker: Did you throw up?

Ian: My streak is still intact. As of today, I have been vomit-free for 760 days and over 3,000 days before that unfortunate morning in Jerusalem. Ruby…

Baklava guy: Who was your favorite vendor?

Ian: They guy from whom I bought my jeans in the street market in Chiclayo, Peru. Not only is it the largest street market in South America, but the guy was also very friendly. He allowed me to try on my pants in the makeshift fitting room (more of a fitting curtain along the main walkway of the market), cut a hole in the pants for the button, put my stin-ridding, hole-covered, not-so-pleasant smelling, old jeans in the garbage, and took a picture with me. (If this were a blog, I would put that picture right here). He had a charm that only the best street-market salesmen have.

There was another vendor who I really liked, but I didn't buy anything from her, so I don't know if she qualifies for this question. Since no one asked me about the favorite vendor I didn't buy anything from, I will include a profile here.

When you go on hikes in Peru, it is common to find old women selling beverages and snacks along the trail, snacks that they had carried in tradition Incan blankets/capes depending on how they are folded. This woman's spot is on the ascent from the deepest canyon in the world. She wakes up at 3:00 a.m. every morning to catch the first wave of hikers doing the hike in the middle of the night. Because it's cold in the morning and hot in the afternoon, she brings warm and cool drinks.

After the midnight hikers pass, she finds a shaded spot behind a rock and spends the morning reading her bible and listening to folkloric music until the afternoon hikers arrive. She has mastered her job because, even at 3:00 p.m., the pop is still cold, and bananas are still yellow. She leaves her spot at about 6 p.m. to cook for her family, goes to bed at 10 p.m., and wakes up at 3 to start the next day.

Shuuummmmmmmmmuuuuuuuun: What's it like to turn 22 in Rio?

Ian: Pretty great but I didn't treat it much differently than my other day in Rio. I went out both nights, spent the afternoon at the beach, and went to capoeira in the evening.

BNL: If you had 100 more dollars, you would….

Ian: This is a tough question because I feel that I did almost everything I wanted to and if something cost a little bit more money but greatly enhance my experience, I didn't have a problem paying a little more. The only thing I can think of is doing the Nazca Lines.

These are mysterious rock carvings on the Peruvian coast that you can only see from an airplane., I didn't go on the airplane because I had heard that it is dangerous/nausea-inducing but if I might have used this extra money to pay for a more reputable company.

Khamotkha: If you had more time, you would…

Ian: If I had more time, I would have visited Bolivia. As I talked about in my previous email, I was seriously going to Bolovia because everybody says it's their favorite country. I worried that the week and a half I would spend in Bolivia wouldn't have been enough time to fully do Bolivia. But if I had another week or week and a half, I would have spent it in Bolivia.

Kippy, your neighborhood porcupine: What are two places you spent too much time?

Ian: I can't really think of any place that I spent too much time. For three days, I tried hard to get out of Buenos Aires and make my way to Uruguay, but, in the end, staying more time in Buenos Aires was probably a good thing. I got to enjoy more meat and spend more time with the friends I met.

Any time you spend in Lima, Peru is too much time.

Jane Goodall: What animal would you have liked to bring home?

Ian: This is probably the easiest question I'll field in the press conference. Giant sea turtle.

Sallah Shabati: Which countries or parts of countries did you miss and would like to go back to?

Ian: If I learned one thing in my South America trip (aside from everything else I learned on this trip), it's that I need to return to South America and not only to see the friends I made while traveling. This trip revealed that I need to come back to this continent to visit Bolivia, Patagonia, and northeast Brazil.

Guy walking aimlessly in the corner: What kind of people did you meet on the road?

Ian: I met very few Americans in my travels. The majority of people I met on the road were from Great Britain, Canada, Israel, or Australia. There are a few reasons for this. First, there is a mentality in these other countries to travel and see the world. Plus, there is so much to see in America, and it's expensive to travel internationally. In these other countries, there isn't the same diversity of landscape. In order to see different things, you need to travel to other places. And the American dollar sucks right now.

If I met Canadians on the road, they were typically college-aged kids traveling over the summer. If I met British people, there were typically post-university/pre-real world people. The Australians I met were mostly in major life transitions and one more extensive travels or over a year. Israelis were, well, Israelis.

John Williams and the Boston Pops: What did you do for Olympic opening ceremonies?

First off, I watched them live. In your face people America. I was sitting in the TV room of Che Legarto Hostel in Copacabana. I really enjoyed watched the parade of nations in this opening ceremonies because you didn't know which country would walk next. With the Chinese alphabet, I had no idea what kind of order the countries would walk out in, so you had to try and guess based on the flag in the background.

Eli Roth (director of the movie Hostel): What was your favorite hostel?

Ian: I spent the final week and a half of my trip in the Che Lagarto Hostel in Rio (site of my opening ceremonies viewing). Maybe the breakfast at this place wasn't up to the standards of other Carioca hostels but the staff was as helpful and caring at this place as they were at any place I stayed at.

Eli Roth: And your least favorite hostel…

Ian: I don't really want to think too much about the hostel we stayed at in Guayaquil, Ecaudor. Our guidebook described the place as a clean, safe, popular backpacker hostel, with a friendly staff and not the kind of place that bosses and their secretaries pay by the hour. Well, the book was wrong in all three aspects.

Our room had a bit of a cockroach issue (ooohh, las cucarachas). The guy at the front desk was angry with us when we tried to buy bottled water. And, standing in front of us in line when we checked in were an older man and a much younger woman (I'll save you the rest of the details).

Mitch Murphy (or whoever the neighbor kid from Home Alone was): What was your favorite souvenir?

Ian: Whenever I buy gifts and t-shirts from my travels, I always avoid the traditional touristy gifts. I like to buy shirts that reflect an aspect of my experience there or some part of the local culture. This is why my favorite souvenirs from the summer I spent in Israel were my sej (upside down wok used to cook pita) and t-shirt from the community garden I worked at.

I spent two and half weeks in Rio, so walking away with a t-shit of Sugar Bread Mountain and Corcavado would have been unacceptable. On my final day there, I came across the public school uniform t-shirt. On all buses, I saw kids wearing this t-shirt with the orange municipality logo. After I bought the shirt, I showed it to my friends. They got a great laugh out of it and told me that if I wore it on a city bus, I wouldn't have to pay the fare. That is advice I shall pass on to other backpackers.

Yes, you can borrow my t-shirt if you are planning a trip to Rio.

Fred "The Crime Dog" McGrifff: Were you ever mugged

Ian: Yes. It happened on a sunny morning at about 11:00 a.m. on one of the major streets in Copacabana on my walk to the beach (six prepositions. Beat that.). As I walked past a church, a 13-year old came out of my blind spot (if you didn't know, I don't have right peripheral vision) and said something in Portuguese. I told him that I don't speak Portuguese and tried to continue walking, but he put his hand out and wouldn't let me walk past him. I tried to go around him but his friend (Well, I'm not sure if their friends, They might just be business partners) came out of my blind spot and shouted in bad, Brazilian English "give him your money." The first one reached behind his back to grab something but I reached into my pocket and gave him my money (a wad of bills, the equivalent of $20) quickly enough that I didn't see what he was reaching for. They asked if that was everything. I told them it was and ran off to enjoy a day at the beach.

It might have sucked to lose 20 bucks, but it did make for great conversation with people at the beach. I learned how to say "today, I was robbed" in Portuguese (hoje, eu estaba robado).

Luckily, it wasn't a horrible experience. I think I was more unlucky than stupid because I was wearing the same thing and carrying the same amount of stuff as other people going to the beach. But you can live and travel safely in South America (or anywhere in the world) if you just use common sense and aren't stupid.

Euphegenia Doubtfire: How many times did you do laundry?

Ian: Three times. Once in Galapagos. Once in Cuzco. And once in Buenos Aires. Judging by my capoeira nickname, I probably should have done it once in Brazil.

Wow, three times in three months. I nevert thought about it like that. That seems disgusting and probably is. But I did clean my underwear in the shower to make sure things were fresh down there.

I knew things were getting really bad when the cleaning lady at the hostel told me that I looked like a homeless person.

Spider: What items did you bring but didn't need or need by didn't bring?

Ian: Every item in my bag served a purpose, and I wouldn't remove anything if I were to do this again. Yes, I did meet some people who only had one or two changes of clothing for yearlong trips. I could've done that if I needed to, but I was very happy how I packed. Because I had to prepare for all types of climates and activities, I could not bring too much of anything.

The only thing I am still debating about whether or not I should have brought is my iPod. As I sat on a six-hour bus from Puno to Arequipa, Peru listening to the same six folklorico songs played on repeat struggling to find a comfortable position to sleep in but couldn't because the bus was cold and the music was loud, I thought that iPod would have been a great idea. Then I thought about the kid sitting across the aisle from me yoinking the iPod at the end of the ride and thought that keeping at home was a smart decision. By the way, I hate Sonia Morales's music (She might be related to Evo.)

Plus, I am traveling in South America to experience and different culture and bringing an iPod with me would be defeating that purpose. In the end, I think I am happy with my decision.

Shuk guy: What was your favorite new fruit?

Ian: In Ecuador, I was in much more of a fruit-sampling mood than I was in Brazil (I was more into fruit-juice sampling). I would say my two favorite fruits I had were the babaco (melony fruit) and maracuya, and not just because of their names but mostly..

Ira and Barry Shalowitz: We've never seen you at Stuccchis or Ben and Jerrry's...

Ian: When I am in the United States, I'm not a big ice cream consumer. But when I am in a country known for its dairy products, like Argentina, I eat ice cream almost everyday.

Ira and Barry Shalowitz: A follow up. Do you have any ideas for new ice cream flavors?

Ian: The Japanese population of Sao Paolo has this mastered but I've never seen it done elsewhere in the world. The honeydew is a great fruit to nosh on, but I've never seen anything honeydew-flavored. That was until I got to the Liberdade neighborhood in Sao Paolo, where I came across their sea green-colored glory

Zohan Dvir: Who was your favorite Israeli you met?

Ian: I really like the independent Israeli. The Israeli who is doing the post-army trip like all other Israelis, but unlike other Israelies, this Israeli doesn't stay at the Israeli-only hostels, doesn't eat at Israeli restaurants, doesn't only travel with Israelis, and actually interacts with other people.

Also, watching the "Don't Mess with Zohan" with Brazilians who don't speak English, don't understand the Spanish subtitles from my bootleg copy, and don't know too much about Israeli humor is a lot of fun.

Ms. Frizzle: What was the longest bus ride of your journey?

Ian: Twenty hours from Lima to Cuzco with one stop. We watched Three to Tango, Keeping the Faith, Pearl Harbor, 27 Dresses, and Something's Gotta Give.

Ms. Frizzle: A follow up. How would you rate bus quality between countries?

Luckily I went from the country with the worst buses to the ones with the best. In Ecuador, buses are essentially mayhem. You don't really know if you will get a seat, if the door will close, if the road is paved, if the breaks will work. When you ride the buses, you're essentially playing a game of chance.

In Peru, the buses were of a little higher quality. If you were willing to pay a little more, you would get a more secure ride with fewer on-bus vendors yelling that they are selling "gelatinas" than in Ecuador.

In Chile, Argentina, and Uruguay, the buses were really good,. The food was good and the seats reclined to great angles.

In Brazil, buses were top of the line. On my ride from Lima to Cuzco, we only stopped once. On my four hour ride from Sao Paolo to Parati, the bus sopped twice, just for a break. Yes, this might be a little slower but it feels great to walk around a little bit and to know that the driver will be fresh.

But I am very proud of the fact that I made it all the way from Quito to Rio on buses, except for the boat from Buenos Aires to Uruguay and a mistake by the Chilean bus company that resulted in a bus company-sponsored van ride from San Pedro de Atacama to the Argentine border.

That is all for this dispatch. I hope you have enjoyed my emails as much I have enjoyed writing them. Much of this has been a one-sided conversation of me sending emails to you. I look forward to talking to you and hearing about your summer.