Friday, July 25, 2014

The Furry Fuhrer

I am now staying with one of my coworkes and their family. I moved in with them two days ago, and it has been a wonderful experience. They have been very welcoming, friendly, and hospitable. They have many dogs at their house because they love pets and to serve as a deterrent against robbery.

When I moved into the house, one of the dogs wouldn´t stop barking at me. He followed me around and was relentless. I was told that he is always like that with new people, but this seemed out of the ordinary.

I asked them what the dog´s name was, thinking that he might relent if I talked endearingly to him. They told me his name was Hitler.

I was taken aback at first. Then I thought that might explain the excessive barking.

We left for the office before I had time to ask why decided to give their dog such a strange name.

After we returned from work (where I spent most of the day creating one-line jokes about the dog´s name), I broached the subject of Hitler´s name.

Apparently, puppy Hitler had a habit of holding one of his legs straight in the air when standing on his hind legs. It reminded their son of the Nazi salute, and so the dog was named.

The dogs is no longer a pup. He is more than 10 years old and has a grey beard growing under mouth. I haven´t seen him stand on his hind legs yet. He walks around the house with a sweater that looks like a cape because it´s cold. It would be silly to think about a dog with a mustache, but I just talked about how he had a beard, so a mustache isn´t that far-fetched.

They use endearing names for him, like Aldolfinho or Hitlerinho. Every time they do that, I have a puzzled look on my face.

Hilter and I are now on pretty good terms (read that sentence again). He doesn´t bark at me as much any more, which is about as far as I can hope.

Below are some of the one-liners that I came up that are semi-appropriate for the blog.

Hitler woke me up this morning.
Hitler just bit my finger.
Hitler´s sniffing his butt.
Hitler took a dump on my bag.
If Hitler keeps this up, I´m going to throw him out the window.
Hitler won´t stop sniffing his butt.
´´Sit boy. Good boy, Hitler. Do you want a treat?´´
´´Hitler, stop humping my leg!´´

(h/t to Ruby on the blog title)

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