Ian vs. Kitten: The Solution

The cat is gone, and peace and quiet has returned to my house.

After the epic struggle between a cat who wanted nothing more than to be able to roam freely in the crawlspace above my apartment and some residents who wanted nothing more than to sleep at night without constant meowing, tranquility has triumphed.

This was no easy fight. The kitten relied on its size, quickness, and survival instincts. Last year, I saw a kitten kill a poisonous snake. These animals are much tougher than they look.

I needed a can of tuna, a block of cheese, a broom, two wooden planks, one pet-removal specialist, my neighbor's nephew, and a plastic bag.

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When I left for work Thursday morning, I had set out food in two locations to try to lure the cat down from its perch in the crawlspace. I would have spent all morning trying to get the cat down, but I had some meetings that would have been hard to change.

By the time I got home for lunch, my neighbors reported that the problem was solved.

After I left in the morning, they had called in a "specialist." I use quotation marks because my refrigerator repairman was also described as a "specialist."

I wonder what qualifications this guy had as an "animal-removal specialist." This is a do-it-yourself culture. Everybody has tales about how they woke up in the middle of the night and found a poisonous snake crawling around the floor, so they just grabbed their machete and killed the snake. So for someone to be described as an "animal-removal specialist," he must have killed hundreds of snakes. (It was never explained to me who this "specialist" was. For all I know, it was the same "handyman" who tried for six months to fix my toilet and eventually gave up)

He might be competent at this whole animal-catching business, though. According to my neighbors, it only took him about an hour and a half. He could use some help at the disposal aspect of his job.

Once he captured the kitten, he set it free in the street outside my house. Displaying tremendous resiliency and determination, the cat turned around and climbed back up into the crawlspace.

Back at square one.

All of this struggle apparently tired the cat out because after returning to the crawlspace, he decided to take a little siesta. My neighbor's called in their nephew and his small hands to grab the sleeping the cat and take him away.

I was a little sad to have missed all the action, but I'm mostly just happy that the cat is gone.