I thought single ply was out of style

I'm a messy eater. I'll admit it. In terms of the food on the fork to food that reaches the mouth ratio, I have one of the lowest numbers of people I know. It's no surprise that I rely heavily on the napkin and other absorbant paper goods when I eat.

Normally, I consider the napkin a standard request at restaurants. As in, if I buy a five-dollar sandwich, I feel entitled to as many napkins that I feel necessary, within reason, to ensure that the food stays off my clothes. Some restaurants even leave napkins out in the open so that people can take as many as the wish without disrupting the employees. Well, at least I'm used to those luxuries in napkin-rich America.

In Israel, it's a whole different story. Restaurants often provide few to no napkins, and the chances of a napkin dispenser are lower than Marty Morningweg's reputation as an NFL head coach (zing!). It's no wonder that I have ruined several pairs of pants and shorts with food stains that could've easily been avoided with ample napkin supply.


Even when they do give napkins, it's never more than two or three of the really light, single-ply (do I need a dash on single-ply?) paper ones that can handle about as much water as I can beer (zing again!). If I am eating a normal meal, no matter what I am actually eating, I require at least five to six of those.

A few anecdtoes:

I was eating lunch in the Central Bus Station food court a couple of weeks ago. While waiting for my food, the person ahead of me in line asked for a couple of napkins. The employee behind the counter took two napkins from a small pile that is well out of the reach of the customer. As he was about to hand them to the customer, he took one of the napkins away and only gave one napkin.

After I got my food, I realized that they didn't give me any napkins (no big surprise). So I decided to ask for a few napkins. The person behind the counter gives me two of those thin napkins that are best compared to doily. When I ask for a couple more napkins, the employee takes my request as a personal offense. He gave me one more.

(Hands on shoulders, let's take a 20-second timeout)

Does my 18 shekels for a sandwich not give me the right to as many napkins as I think that I require? Do I have to pay more to get a napkin? How did we become so frugal with napkins that we can't afford to provide customers with a satisfactory amount? Are the profit margins that slim that the company afford another box of napkins? Or am I crazy for having such radical ideas?

One of the best burger joints in town, Burger's Bar, is equally as frugal about napkins, which is weird coming from a restaurant that serves such napkin-intensive foods like burgers and fries. The napkins at Burger's Bar are all behind the counter, which means that you have to get the attention of an employee in order to get something to wipe that kethcup off you cheek with.

Last night I had my first Burger Ranch experience of the summer I'm not much of a fast food guy but I figured that it would be a shame to go through the summer in Israel, home of countless kosher fast food places, and not eat a burger at one of them. My "S" (I think it stood for "small") Meal inclluded a burger, small fries, medium pop and one single-ply napkin. (What the hell?)


At every meal that I eat, I find myself examining napkin availibility, which means that there is a clear napkin problem in this country. In fact, I have found myself doing exactly what the restaurant protect against: hording napkins when availible. When I eat a restaurant with a public napkin dispenser, I horde the napkins and put them in my bag so that I have them for future meals (What have I become?).

If you have any ideas on how to solve this problem, please let me know so that we can make Israel a more customer friendly (don't even get me started on customer service) to live and visit, one ply at a time.