My first quince

I remember watching a movie in high school Spanish class called ´´Quince´´. It was about a Mexican girl´s 15th birthday party.

In Latin culture, when a girl turns fifteen, she doesn´t get her learner´s permit. Instead, she has a big party to celebrate the fact that she is no longer a child, that she is now expected to assume the responsibilities on adult.

Sound familiar?

The only things missing are the candle-lighting, Star Trax, the hora, and a mitzvah project.

Last week, I went to my first Quinceñera (15th birthday party). One of the youth from the newspaper group was turning fifteen and invited me to the event, which was going to be held at her house.

When I heard that the party was going to be held at her house, I didn´t know how they were going to pull it off. She doesn´t live in a very big house, and it´s pretty full of stuff. But when I stopped by a little earlier in the afternoon, they had cleared out the entire house and filled the room with a circle of chairs and put another circle of chairs in the yard. Where everything else went I have no idea.

The family had spent the entire week making pink and white decorations for the house. It was really nice, and their hard work definitely paid off.

I was told the event was going to begin at 8:00. I asked some of the other newspaper kids who had been invited what time it was actually going to show up. They said that there was no way it would start before 9:45. So I got there at 9:40, and things got under way just before 10:00. They also told me not to eat beforehand because there was going to be dinner at the party. Well, dinner was not going to be served until the wee hours of the morning, so I had a full meal ahead of time.

Like any event in Ecuador, there was an enumerated order of events to take place. Someone announces the event and its place in the order of the day before said event occurs.

The ceremony started with a procession of various people, starting with something like to flower girls, followed by the birthday girl´s parents, and then the birthday girl, accompanied by her male chaperon (in this case, her brother). The birthday girl takes a seat at the front of the room in a decorated chair.


Then comes the ceremonial changing of the shoes. The birthday girl entered the room wearing some sort of flip-flop house shoe. The flower girls weren´t flower girls. One was a shoe girl. When entering the room, she carried a pillow with a high-heeled shoes perched on top of it. Then birthday girl´s parents perform the shoe-changing ceremony.

After the shoe ceremony, the other flower girl is called up. This one is the makeup girl. On her pillow, she was carrying some makeup. Then the birthday girl´s godmother is called up to apply makeup.

Then, it´s time for the speeches. First, the parents give a tear-jerking speech about how their little girl is all grown up. Then, the birthday girl gives a tear-filled speech, thanking her parents for everything they have done for her and for making this such a special night.

After that there is the first dance, father with daughter and mother with son.

Then, they quote Buzz McAllister and say ´´Enough of this gooey show of emotion.`` Dance party!!!!

And so the dance party begins, rotating ten-minute sets between tecno-cumbia songs (favorites of the parents) and reggaeton (preferred rhythm of the teenagers).

When the adult music is on, all the kids go out to the front yard. When it's time for reggaeton, the kids dominate the dance floor and the parents sit down. There was no klezmer set, so I stayed seated the whole time.

After the first dance set, there is one last rite of passage - and it has nothing to do with the birthday girl. (Ecuadorian dance parties work in a sequence of 15 minutes of dancing followed by three minutes of recovery before another set comes on.)

And much like a bat mitzvah has events that symbolize the assumption of responsibilities, so too does the quinceñera. Though the significance of this last part was a little lost on me.

All of the birthday girl's best friends line up on the dance floor. Then the birthday girl's chaperon puts a blind fold on. He reaches up the birthday girl's leg and grabs a garter. He takes it off her leg and puts it on the leg of one of her friends, all the while the crowd is cheering for him to put it higher and higher on the girls leg.


But he doesn't stop at just one garter. He performs the same act on every one of the girl's friends, making me feel uncomfortable each time he reached up her leg or one of her friend's. I have tried to think about what this could signify. I have no idea.

After this, I waited around for a few more dance sets before realizing that it was getting a bit late and that I didn't want to sit through this quinceñera all night long.

So I said my farewells and headed home.

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Is it weird that there is a special birthday party for the girls when they turn fifteen that means that they no accept the responsibil´ities of being a woman in society but there is nothing for the boys? Does that mean they never have to accept responsibilities?