Where is Hank Hill?

To refill my kitchen gas tank only costs $1.60. But that only takes into account the monetary value the Ecuadorian government places on its heavily subsidized gas.

That $1.60 doesn't take into account headaches, frustration, cold meals, and lost time involved in navigating this bureaucratic nightmare.

My gas tank ran out three weeks ago. I finally got a refill a couple of days ago.

(To go directly to my struggles in replacing the gas tank, skip the next two paragraphs)

Gas tanks are a very heavily regulated industry in Ecuador for a variety of reasons. Although Ecuador is an OPEC nation, it doesn't have sufficient refining capacity to serve the needs of its citizens. So, most of the cooking gas tank gas is imported. Apparently there is some kind of issue with the shipments now because there are gas shortages throughout the country.

The other problem is much more local. Ecuador subsidizes the gas tank prices. Peru doesn't subsidize (or doesn't subsidize as much). This creates an arbitrage opportunity for people who live near the border. The government has tried to crack down on this by placing the military in charge of gas distribution and making sure that each gas purchase is officially registered so that no one is stockpiling.

When my gas tank ran out, I went to the local gas distributor to change the tanks, but they were closed. I tried this the next day, but it was the same story.

In the meantime, one of my neighbors let me borrow his gas tank.

On my third attempt, they told me that they were out of gas, but that I should come back the next day with my gas tank and a copy of my ID.

I did that, except they were already out of gas by the time I arrived.

So on my fifth attempt, the stars finally appeared to have aligned. I had my ID. They had gas tanks. When it was my turn in line, they asked me for something that would certify me as a resident of Arenillas. I showed them my ID. They said it wasn't good enough. I had to go to the local government office and get a signed document, attesting to my residence.

I go to the office, but they tell me that they can't do anything for me until the president of my neighborhood certifies me as a resident.

The president of my neighborhood is a doctor who practices in another city. He doesn't get back to Arenillas until 7:00 p.m., which is about when I get to his house.

Ian: Necesito un certificado que dice que vivo en esta ciudadela para que pueda conseguir un tanque de gas.
Presidente: Mejor que consigas algunas peladas.

(or for the direct translation)

Ian: I need to get a certificate that says I live here so I can get a gas tank.
Prez: Better that you get yourself a couple of broads.

He says that he'd like to help but he needs the secretary of the neighborhood to prepare the document.

I head to her house. She works in another city and doesn't get home until 10:30, which is well past my bed time. I leave my papers at her house and pick them up in the morning.

I pick up the papers and notice that the secretary had forgotten to sign them. I get the president's signature that night and leave the document at the secretary's house to pick it up the next day and take it over to the government office.

Unfortunately, the government's representative was out of the office. I would have to wait over the weekend. Monday morning, I swung by the government office, picked up the paper I need, and headed to the gas distributor. Much to my surprise, they had gas.

I paid the $1.60 and changed my tank. Now was that so hard?