Summer Recap

After three months in Israel and a week to reflect on my time, I am ready to face the media's tough questions. First, I would like to deliver a prepared statement.

Summing up my trip in one statement is probably impossible. From the day that I moved into my "dorm room" in Nachlaot, I knew that my summer would be full of once-in-a-lifetime experiences. From Nachlaot to Nahariya, from Tiberias to Tel Aviv, and Ein Gev to Ein Gedi, I tried to take in as much of Israel as possible. Along the way, I did some intersting things and met some great people. When I am at school, I am a mere 40 minutes from home. This was the first time that I was truly independent. It allowed me to grow in many ways and overcome some fears.

Boy that was not a fun introduction, I promise the rest of this post to be much more fun and exciting. Let's open it up.

Doubters: Can you believe that Ian, of all people, did this?

Ian: Yes but then again, I might be biased.

One of the Bobs: Take me through a typical day at your internship.

Ian: I will break this up into a few sections to make it easier to read:

Before work: Well, I would set my alarm for about 8:00, hoping to get a run in before I went to work. I would hit the snooze button a few times before 8:45 showed on the clock and I would have to get out of bed. I spent the next 15 minutes showering, brushing my teeth, taking a squeege, and completing other morning routine activities. By 9:00, I tried to be out the door and on my way to work (which was only a 10 minute walk from my apartment). On the way to work, I would either 1) stop at a bakery by the shuk to pick up bread with zatar on it or 2) stop in the shuk and buy some fruit for breakfast. After picking up breakfast, I would walk 5 minutes up Jaffa Rd. to the Egged Building where the Movement and Academy for Quality Government are located.

At the office:
Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door - that way my boss can't see me, heh - after that I sorta space out for an hour. Yeah, I just stare at my desk, but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch too, I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work.

Now seriously. After shmoozing with my fellow employees for a few minutes about the latest news, I would meet with my boss to see what he wanted me to do. These activities included writing essays that the Academy could use when it lobbies the government to adopt certain international treaties, researching how countries, companies, and other municipalities handle corruption, and creating a library of online anti-corruption materials. Normally, I worked until 1:00ish before taking a lunch break. After lunch, I would work until 3-4ish before I left to go volunteer at Alyn Hospital or one of the community gardens.

I would like to insert a quick plug for the Movement for Quality Government. If you are interested in learning more about the Movement, the problem of corruption in Israel, and how to become a member, go to their website.

Sam McKenna: I have a follow-up to that. What did you do for lunch?

Ian:Being centrally located on Jaffa Rd., one of the main thoroughfares in Jerusalem, I had numerous lunch options. At the beginning of my internship, we normally walked two blocks down the street to the Central Bus Station, where we (Ian and my two fellow interns [one from London and one from St. Louis]) would eat in the food court. Since I refuse to eat to Chinese food in a food court and believe that falafel and shawarma should be restricted to street-side locations, I developed an affinity for the omelette sandwich.

After the first few weeks, we started to go to the shuk for lunch (This could also be called: How to eat a meal on less than NIS 3). I would buy three pieces of pita for 1/2 shekel each. Go to a veggie guy and ask how much a single cucumber would cost. I was always prepared to pay whatever price he said but normally he would tell me that I didn't have to pay for one. I would do the same thing with a red pepper, plum, tomato, and nectarine. Once a week, I would buy a container of labene (around NIS 10).

At the end of my stay in Israel, I fell in love with a new type of lunch food, shakshuka. It involves a vegetable stew and eggs on a baguette. According to one of my coworkers, the restaurant next to work, The Milky Way, makes one of the best shakshuka sandwiches in town.

He also told about the picnic tables on the roof of my building. It also happens to be the same place that most of the major TV stations do their broadcasts. During one lunch, I ate my sandwich while watching Jerrold Kessel, the former CNN Jerusalem bureau chief, get interviewed. It was a private lecture about the situation between Israel and Hezbollah.

Frommers (related to the Orthodox travel guide "Frummer's"): Do you have a to-do list for the next trip?

Ian:The one city in Israel that I have not been to yet is Haifa. Many of my friends from home are formerly Haifans (see sidebar) and rave about the city. In fact, one of my friends who studies urban planning calls it one of the best cities in the world. However, constant rocket attacks by Hezbollah prevented me from visiting. Actually, when I was on the train back from Nahariya to Tel Aviv, I slept through the Haifa stations, so I never saw it at all.

Other things that I would have wanted to do include finding a second-hand clothing store in Jerusalem, spendine more time in the north (Galilee and Golan), doing some more hiking in the south, and spending more late nights in Tel Aviv.

I didn't go to Eilat on this trip, and honestly, I don't regret it at all.

Ansel Adams: What are your favorite pictures from your summer portfolio?













The pea beneath my bed: What irked you the most about Israelis?

Ian: Does this mean I have a forum to rant about Israelis? Here we go. They are impolite; they don't believe in lines; they wear tight t-shirts; they are critical of my ability to speak Hebrew; they change the language from Hebrew to English too quickly; and they are impolite.

My shrink:What fears do you still have to overcome?

Ian: Fire.

Pew Research Group: Did your political views change while you were there?

Ian: I still handle issues on a case-by-case basis. I couldn't handle being on one side all of the time. At times, I am to the right. At others, I am to the left. Sometimes, I am down the middle. On some occasions, I am even indifferent.

Walt Disney: What's your favorite "it's a small country, after all" moment?

Ian: Riding in the train from Bet Shemesh to Tel Aviv, I met my friend Rachel's friend from Bolivia. Here is a transcript of that conversation:

Girl sitting across the aisle: Where are you from?
Ian: Michigan. Where are you from?
Girl sitting across the aisle: Bolivia
Ian: Oh that's funny. Last night, my friend ditched me to hang out with a Bolivian.
Girl sitting across the aisle: What's you friend's name?
Ian: (I said my friend's name)
Girl sitting across the aisle: I am that Bolivian that your friend ditched you for.

You in the back: What was the most fun?

Ian: I spent three months in Israel, and the most fun was a night of Sumo wrestling at the Roman Amphitheater in Caesarea.

Martha Stewart: How can I strengthen my community if I only have a couple bags of horse manure, water, a few bushels of hay, some old Firestones, eucalyptus, and dirt?

Ian: Well Martha, you could make a firepit out of horse manure, hay, and mud; a bench out of tires, mud and hay; or a tent out of eucalyptus branches. What would you do with these materials? Should I expect something in next month's issue of Living?

Martha: No comment.

Shnorer at the Kotel: How many meals would you mooch (not have to pay for) per week?

Ian: Well, I would have to say at least 2-3 meals per week did not come out of my pocket. If you know people or use your charm, you'll come across a free meal.

Martha(to Shnorer): When is the last time you showered?

Shnorer: No comment.

Meal Moocher: List all of your Friday night dinners (more for me than for you [so that I can remember]):

Ian: I would show you the pictures of the delicious challahs, hatzilim salads, and chickens, but God knows that wouldn't be kosher. I would like to thank my Shabbat dinner providers: Jill, Chaim David, Academy, Laurin, Tsafi, Safed, Shirah Chadashah, Keshet Yonatan, Tiberias, Inbal, Yerucham, Communah, and Yavneh Olami.

Sanctuaries in time (aka serenity now): What is the best kabbalat shabbat service you attended?

Ian: I think that the best Friday night service was at Kol Rina Synagogue down the street from my house. It is a very musically inclined orthodox congregation that really gets rocking.

Not-temples in time (aka balagan immediately): Least Shabbat moment?

Ian:After visiting a tish in Mea Sha'arim at 1 a.m, with Peter on my second to last shabbat in Jerusalem, I walked 10 minutes down the road to the Nahalat Shiv'a bar neighborhood so Peter could wet his whistle. The difference in atmosphere made us question whether we were in the same city. Not to mention I was involved in my first "hey mister" moment" (very un-shabbostik).

I have to mention that time when my bus from Tiberias left at 5:00 p.m. on Saturday afternoon and got back to Jerusalem before shabbat ended. Before this, I didn't even know that Egged (the bus company) operated on Saturdays before sundown.

Kiruv Koordinator: Did you become more religious? Pais?

Ian: No, I truly believe that I maintained my level of observance. On the subject of pais, I would say that they got lost in my hair. But check out Ari's haircut before the 17th of Tammuz.



LL: What have you been doing to stay out of trouble?

Ian: What if I have been in trouble and you don't know about it. (You'll have to ask me about this one in person.)

Waldo: Who is the last person you expected to see that you saw?

Ian: Three-way tie:

Walking through the Acco shuk on one of my adventures, I ran into my friend Jeff. I knew he was in Israel but expected to see him in Jerusalem. Let's just say that Acco is not Ben Yehuda St.

I shook hands with the mayor of Ashdod when I went to go cover a wrestling press conference for the Jerusalem Post. I also met/heard some Russian wrestlers, but failed to understand.

Two days after I got home from Israel, I went on a family trip to the Canadian Rockies. While waiting in the airport to go to Minneapolis, we saw Flip Saunders Blackberrying—either talking to his wife, Rip Hamilton, or complaining to Dan Munson about how his son should get more playing time.

Joseph Pullitzer: How does Daily Sports compare with JPost Sports?

IanYou have to ask me this one in person

Sej salesman: What is your favorite shuk moment?

Ian: Have you ever witnessed a shuk showdown when two customers are ready to go to fisticuffs and haymakers over an item. It is very exciting.

CEO of HIKE (Common brand of clothing in the shuk): What's your favorite pair of socks that you bought?

Ian: During my last week, I realized that I wouldn't have enough clean socks to wear without having to do laundry. So, I went to the shuk and bought a pack of three socks for NIS 10. They go above my ankles and each pair of socks has a different pattern on the top. I didn't even know that you were 1) a legitimate company or 2) large enough to have a CEO.
[insert picture of socks]

Peddler: Best bargaining experience:

Ian: You have to break this into two categories

1. In terms of most sheqels (acceptable spelling in the Scrabble dictionary) saved, I bargained the cab driver from Jerusalem to Holon on Shabbat down 100 sheks from 250 to 150.
2. In terms of best bargain, my flowing/airy/Safed/1970s Hait-Ashbury shirt at the flea market in Jaffa. I brought the guy from 40 to 25 sheks. My friend said that he bought a very similar shirt in Jerusalem a day earlier for NIS 100.
   
   
   
   Shwarmy Shawarma: What is the best shawarma place?
   
   Ian: For the value, a 15 shekel shawarma in a lafa at Melekh Shwarma on King George is the best in town. I also enjoyed my experience at Masov on Jaffa Rd, by the bus station (if you look closely, you might find pictures of some Shmoozeniks on the wall).
   
   Farklempt Falafel: What is the best falafel place?
   
   Ian: Melekh Shawarma's falafel is pretty good, especially with the variety of vegetables that you can put on top of it. I also enjoy their napkins that read "If you enjoyed your food, tell your friends. If you didn't, tell us."
   
   Here are some guidelines to the shawarma/falafel food groups. Falafel can only be consumed in pita form, while shawarma should only be sold in lafa., Any other type of sandwich will make you sick (with the pita) or wanting more (shawarma).
   
   To tell you the truth, falafel doesn't really interest me anymore. Maybe I ate too much too fast or I had one negative experience, but I cannot see myself eating falafel anytime in the near future. You go into it expecting this great flavor, but I always get let down. Maybe I will get up the balls to eat falafel at Jerusalem Garden this year, but right now, we need some time away from one another.
   
   Homer Simpson: What ringtone did you choose for your phone? Did it change at any point during the summer?
   
   Ian: Obviously, (as you know, Homer) there is only one choice for the ringtone. Throughout my stay in Israel, I danced, I danced, I danced around my Mexican hat.
   
   "Can you hear me now?" guy: What is the best cell phone feature that they have in Israel that you want on your phone in Ann Arbor?
   
   Ian: As some of you might know, you are not allowed to talk on your cell phone while driving. To remedy this, speaker phone comes standard on all Israeli cell phones. This is not something you get in America. Not only would this allow people to drive with two hands or talk with their hands while talking on the phone, but it would also allow people more freedom when they are using the phone outside of the car.
   
   Bain & Company: How would you improve late-night food in America?
   
   Ian: I have a three-step solution to correcting this injustice. Let me use Ann Arbor as my case study. Currently, the only type of late-night foods available are pizza, Mexican, Jimmy John's, and Pizza House (that, among other items, serves spicy buffalo wings which come with celery that you don't have to eat). My experience in Israel has opened my eyes to three different types of restaurants that would move late-night food beyond the the Hispanic and Italian continuum.
   1. Waffles—In Jerusalem, there are competing waffleries that serve the delectable Belgian treat with a variety of toppings. My mouth is watering just writing this (oops I drooled on my shirt). They have chocolate, vanilla, fruits, carmel, butterscotch, various alcoholic options (this would be a hit at 1 a.m. on a college campus), and many other things to put on top of the waffle. It sells for about six dollars and is worth every penny.
   2. Soup—I propose the introduction of Chill, vegetarian soup bar to attract students from the RC. It would serve a plethora of fresh, homemade soups, jazz, and (of course) beer.
   3. Kosher shawarma and shnitzel—Hey, I can dream.
   
   
   B-school student: What type of healthy, quick food restaurant would you establish?
   
   Ian: I would introduce an omelette restaurant, similar to the one that I ate lunch at the beginning of my internship. It serves a baguette with an omelette in the middle of it, surrounded by an array of vegetables. It would cost about six bucks and is much healthier than other types of quick foods. It would compete against the sub or could be another item at the sub restaurant.
   
   Galgalatz: What is your favorite Israeli band?
   
   Ian: Let's see. I went to the Hadag Nachash concert early in the summer and enjoyed their work. But I didn't really get into the Israeli pop music scene. If I were pressured to choose one favorite it would be Hadag Nachash or this brilliantly awful song by Idan Yaniv that gets played on the pop radio station at least 79 times per day called "Thinking of You" (it falls under the category of "this music is so bad that it's good")
   
   Joan Rivers: How did your wardrobe change?
   
   Ian: As the summer progressed my clothes became more and more stained. Oh, that's not what you meant? Aside from two pairs of underwear that I bought in the shuk, two SPNI t-shirts, and a button-down short-sleeve shirt, most other wardrobe additions are mentioned at other points in this interview.
   
   American living in Israel: If you could've brought one more item from America, what would it have been?
   
   Ian: Rod Allen. The Tigers TV commentator makes some brilliant comments. My favorite one came last week after Brent Clevlen homered out of Fenway Park and Rock said "No, he didn't!" (when obviously, he just did). If I had him following me around all summer and offering his two cents, that would've been pretty sweet.
   
   Israeli living in America: If you could've brought one item home from Israel (in your checked luggage of course), what would it have been?
   
   Ian: Now an 18-and-up drinking age won''t fit in my suitcase, will it? I don't even drink, I just like the fact that I can get into any establishment that I want (except for the Israeli bars that set 22 or 25 as the minimum but those places suck anyway).
   
   This one might be less feasible: the amount of kosher restaurants
   
   Sallah Shabati and his Ashkenizi friend Yehezky Goldstein: What game did you learn to play in Israel?
   
   Ian: Erick, who is very proud of his Ashkenazi heritage, taught me how to play shesh-besh (backgammon), and I have been hooked ever since. However, I have found that kids who grew up in Sephardic families are much better at the game than people from Ashkenazi backgrounds. I can think of two reasons for this 1) they played with their grandparents at home or 2) Sephardic people are more superstitious than others, so their superstitious practices are actually paying off.
   
   Mr. Clean: Did you ever clean your apartment this summer? Bathroom? Change linens?
   
   Ian: We'll make this a choose-your-own ending answer.
   If you want to know the truth, read at the first • .
   If you want to know the real truth, start at the second one.
   If you want to stay in the dark, read the third one.
   
   • I washed the floor of my apartment and bathroom once a month, changed the linens every two weeks, and cleaned my toilet every week. Not to mention other normal hygienic practices like change my underwear and socks every day, bathe regularly, and throw out milk before its expiration date (and refrigerate it).
   
   • Do you consider wetting a towel and dragging it on the floor as cleaning? No? Then the answer to that question is "no." Doesn't flushing the toilet count as cleaning it?
   
   • I think that it's best for my reputation if you didn't know the answer to these questions.
   
   Mr. Clean: Follow up. What did it involve to clean up for somebody?
   
   Ian: Well, because I had so many visitors, I was always tidying my apartment for the next guest. While a narrative of how I did this would be fun, I think that a before-and-after pictorial would be more effective and concise.
   
   This was taken earlier in the summer before my friend Rachel came over to see my humble abode (no my adobe because those aren't so common in Jerusalem).
   
   
   
   
   
   Cinderella: How many times did you do laundry?
   
   Ian: Probably about five or six. Only once did I decide to save money by washing my white clothes with the dark ones (I know that you have to have to wash whites in warm water and the darks in cool water, but I thought that I'd be able to save some money).
   
   Scrooge McDuck: Did you really live on three sheqels per week? If so, how? If not, what is your best shuk bargain?
   
   Ian: No, I had a slightly higher budget than that. To answer your other question, I would have to say that anything after 4:30 on a Friday afternoon would fall under the category of best bargain because all the vendors are trying to get rid of their goods before Shabbat. Other than that, I bargained a guy down from NIS 25 to NIS 6 for a kippah (skullcap) for my brother.
   
   Eliezer Ben Yehuda: What is your favorite Hebrew word?
   
   Ian: On the Israeli Sesame Street, the Cookie Monster equivalent, Ugifletzet, is possibly the best word in any language, ever. It is a combination of the words "ugah" (cake) and "mifletzet" (monster).
   
   Mike One to the left: When are you going back?
   
   Ian: Hopefully sooner rather than later.
   
   Everybody: SHOULD I EXPECT MORE FROM HEARYONI.BLOGSPOT.COM? OR, IS THIS—THE SUPER RE-CAP—IT?
   
   Ian: I would keep this on your list of normally checked blogs. You should also check out the Shmooze blog, which I contribute to regularly.