Not-Quite-Live-Blog but as close as I can get

Mis tigres!!!

We’re just a few minutes away from the first pitch here. Here means two things —downtown Detroit and my Peace Corps site in Ecuador where I picked star fruits off the tree down the street earlier today. They just showed some images of Gate B of Comerica Park. I didn’t recognize any of the ushers working there. Where are you, Robert????

(If you couldn’t tell from the first paragraph, this blog post will be a bit heavy on the inside jokes and Detroit-ery.)

Dave O’Brien and Rick Sutcliffe are doing the announcing and color commentary for ESPN, but they are clearly not the guys speaking on this broadcast. Two Spanish-speakers are handling those responsibilities, I think. Although, it is possible that Sutcliffe and O’Brien speak Spanish fluently and I didn’t realize it.

Armando Galarraga is on the mound for the Tigers. Before I go any further with this live blog, I want to warn you what happened the last time I watched a Tigers game in another country. It was July 30, 2006. The site was Ben Yehuda Street in Jerusalem. I was celebrating my birthday, and the Tigers had a day game against the Minnesota Twins. Everything went well for the first seven innings, and then Jeremy Bonderman had an epic meltdown in the eighth. The Tigers lost the game and weren’t the same team for the next two months.

Also, when we tried to watch the game on the free wireless on Ben Yehuda Street, the bomb squad had to come in to solve the problem.

7:05 Hopefully, this goes much better.

Well, the first signs aren’t so promising. Armando Galarraga’s gave up a two-run homefun to J.D. Drew before retiring an out. Here we go again.

Oh no, wait. Galarraga puts together three straight outs.

7:16

I invited all of my friends from the office to watch the game with me so they can understand a little bit about how much today’s game means to me. Most of them have to go to classes, but there is a chance that one of my cowokers comes by. They me more than don’t really know anything about baseball, and today in the car I tried to explain the rules to them. I think they were humoring anything else.

7:20

The TV doesn’t take into account that every channel is in charge of TV. For the first time this year, the TV has not responded to about half of the chanels. So far, I have had issues with pretty much ever single part of my house (water, electricity, the bathroom). But the TV has been one safe haven, except this afternoon. I got home from work and only half of the channels worked. I briefly paniced. ESPN doesn’t work. But barukh ha’shem that ESPN + works. If I couldn’t watch today’s game, I would either go insane or try to reason that it wasn’t meant to be and enduring a bit of suffering is part of joining the Peace Corps.

C’mon. Let’s be serious. There is hardship, and then there is this.

7:27

My new favorite nickname in the majors is “El Big Papi.” And he grounded out, which I like even more.

I figure I’ll throw in some Spanish words to help your vocabulary tonight. “Retirado” retired, in the sense of an out. Wait until Galarraga rings up a K before I find out what “strikeout” is.

7:33

As I’m sitting here, watching the Tigers game, I can’t help but imagine how small the world has become in the last few years.

7:34

They’re showing a retrospective on Randy Johnson’s career. Apparently, he’s close to his 300th win. I’m looking forward to them showing the corwning moment of The Big Unit’s storied career, his relief appearance at the end of Little Big League.

7:35

I like the “The Detroit Tigers support the automakers” sign. Nice touch.

7:41

I just hear the “opera”-singing hotdog guy in the background. There are some parts of the stadium I don’t miss.

7:43

I’m not going to speak too soon, which actually means I am going to speak too soon, but these two pitchers have set a blazing pace so far. If I were working this game, I would be a little excited about how quickly this midweek game going.

I really like the term “cabeza de su division,” which literally means they are the head of the division. To get the side out in order is “retirar en orden,” which Galarraga just did.

7:49

They just showed a Matthew Stafford chatting it up with some of the Tigers before the game. Then the announcers said that the city of Detroit has so many problems that they also have a winless NFL team. Let’s focus on the positives here — the Wings are two away from the Cup and the Tigers are on top of the division. Other positives?

7:53

They just talked about how Tiger Stadium received its official death sentence the other day. I always liked, when working down the rigthfield line at Comerica Park, to look over at The Corner and reflect a bit. Now, I’m crying. I wonder if these announcers came up with the idea to talk about Tiger Stadium or if they are just translating word-for-word what Sutcliffe and O’Brien are saying.

7:57

Inge is like a completely different player this year.

7:59

Curtis Granderson en la zona de seguridad. In English, “Curtis Granderson on the warning track.”

8:01

If there weren’t enough about Detroit and how depressing it is, ESPN just showed a highlight of Louis-Shmelling from 1939. I didn’t think that Louis lost to Shmelling, but that’s what I understood from the Spanish.

They followed that up with an image of Lions fans booing the Stafford selection. Can’t you make someone else feel bad?

There are good things to say about Detroit. We have three of the top twenty-five pizzas in America.

8:05

Deportivo Condor has a game in fifty-five minutes. They tied last week and are currently in third place in the division. The rule around these parts is, for anything, you have to ask five people to learn the correct answer. Typically, this rule applies to directions. But you can use the same rule for sports news as well. I only asked four people about Deportivo Condor’s league status.

8:12

I’m not going to complain too much here because Galarraga should have gotten out of the way. But from my vantage point, keep in mind that I’m on the other side of the Equator, it looked like he exaggerated that fall a bit. But then again, maybe I’ve just been watching too much soccer.

8:21

I really like what ESPN is doing by showing a batter’s average given the situation. Like how, Inge is batting .256 when the count is 2-2. Well, now he is batting a little worse after that strikeout.

8:28

So Polanco might have been a little bit late to tag the base there. What I really like is the sigh that announcers make when they see that the ump made the wrong call but they don’t want to say that the ump made the wrong call. So they just kind of sigh a little bit, and everybody knows what they mean anyway.

8:38

“Congelado,” literally means frozen. In this context, it refers to how Josh Beckett just caught Gerald Laird looking at strike three. Can a jinx work the other way, in which I say Beckett is on his way to a no-hitter?

The term “Salvador” is normally used to refer to Jesus Christ. But I think the announcer just said Fernando Rodney is the Tigers’ savior. This might also refer to the fact that he is the closer. Unclear. But in either case, hilarious.

8:56

“Sencillo.” It means single. But in this case it refers to what Curtis Granderson just did, in breaking up the no-hitter. I like to think that me writing something about the no-hitter in this not-so-live blog had something to do with it.

9:03

Cheesecake and baseball is a great combination.

9:13

We’re still in the top of the eighth. This could have gone better in the sense that the Tigers could be losing by fewer than nine runs.

9:23

That was a tough half inning for the Tigers — Robertson and Miner have had better outings before. Six runs later, we’re down by double digits.

9:26

How about some good news? I gave a great community banks presentation two days ago, might write a cookbook and nutrition guide with the nutritionist at the local hospital, and my cousin is getting married on Saturday (for once, I am talking about my real family and one of my host families).

9:29

Is there a rule that says when Ramon Santiago is called in as a pinch runner of the game when the Tigers are losing by ten that I can go watch my local soccer club play the second half of its match? Kind of the like the Darko Rule — if Darko Milicic is playing, there is no reason for you to still be at this game.

“Pelotaso,” means hit by pitch.

9:34

The Tigers scored a run. (Insert roar noise). 10-1, Red Sox. You have to start with “1” if you are going to get to “10” or, like the Tigers are going to do tonight, “11.” (Let’s have another roar noise while we’re at it.)

Let’s give an update on Ian’s soccer game attendance plans — Similar to the Ramon Santiago rule, is there a Josh Anderson clause?

9:41

Two straight errors. Bases loaded. I think my Tigers have some fight left in them.

9:43

Three straight fielding miscues. The Tigers now trail 10-2.

My host mom just walked in, and I explained to her how badly the Tigers are losing but that it doesn’t matter because this might be the only time I can watch my team this year and that my brother is at the game and that they have shown a bunch of my city. It’s like I’m back home, except that I’m in another hemisphere.

“No hay donde ponderlos,” trainslated directly to mean “there’s nowhere to put them.” In order words, the bases are loaded.

9:48

Bases-clearing triple by Curtis Granderson. We’re down 10-5 now and still alive.

My host dad just walked in and asked my I’m not at the soccer match like I planned. I told him that the soccer match doesn’t matter to me right now. For those of you interested in a score update, Condor is losing 1-0 at the end of the first half.

9:50

From the beginning of the game, I should have kept a count of the number of French Open ads I’ve seen. I think the correct answer to that is “too many.”

9:54

They are breaking down the first round of the 1974 MLB Draft. Desperation? Nothing else to talk about? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard baseball broadcasts break down the first round of that legendary draft. I mean, Garry Templeton. How can you deny Garry Templeton? I certainly will not deny him. Would you?

That’s what I thought.

9:58

They have started to show pictures of Red Sox fans in the crowd taking pictures of other Red Sox fans. Can they do me a favor and show someone I know?

9:59

Tigers are about to get their final at-bat of the evening, trailing by five runs. Cue “Eye of the Tiger.”

10:02

“Campo corto.” That is shortstop.

10:05

The announcer just called Jim Leyland Jimmy Leyland. I don’t think that has ever been done before.

10:06

Santiago draws a walk, showing great patience in his first at-bat of the night.

10:08

Laird just worked the count to 3-0, and Terry Francona decided to call the bullpen. I like how bullpen phone technology has not changed for 35 years. I also like how Laird drew a walk. Now, the tying run is in the hole or, as the kickball kids say, double deck.

10:11

The announcer has never referred to the Tigers as the Tigres all night. But when he refers to the White Sox, he calls them the “medias blancas.” He just called Oakland the Atleticos. Who is he to decide the mascot of the various teams?

10:12

We’re down to our last out. They just showed a part of rally caps in the crowd. They don’t have a window into the living room here. But if they did, they would see a rally cap.

10:15

All the ushers are amassed at the bottom of their rows because the game could end on the next pitch. But wait, the bases are now loaded after Polanco gets plunked. And Miguel Cabrera, who is on deck, represents the tying run.

10:17

Anderson flies out to centerfield to end the game.

Win or lose, it’s always fun to watch the Tigers play. Hopefully, because of their cabeza de la divison status, they’ll be featured more frequently on ESPN throughout the season.

Now, it’s time to go cheer on Condor.