Mas Fiestas

As I mentioned in my previous fiesta-related post, every town/neighborhood has its annual fiestas. They typically coincide with the date of the town/neighborhoods was founded.

For example, the biggest fiestas in my city are November 11 because that is the day my city officially became a city.

Well, the previous fiestas I attended were in the campo. I had yet to attend a fiesta (I repeat fiesta over and over instead of writing parties because fiesta encompasses so much more). That is, until a couple of weeks ago.

Here is a bullet-riddled post of my observations from these fiestas (There has to be a better phrase than bullet-riddled, but I’m not sure that is a more hilarious one).

• Pageantry – If there is one thing that Ecuador and college football have in common, it would be pageantry. If there is another thing, it would be a love of beer. But back to the pageantry.

In the fiestas for this neighborhood, they held three beauty pageants: one to select the reina (queen); one to select the mini reina (mini queen); and one to select Señora Bonita (beauty pageant for the mothers).

And these pageants occupy the majority of the program. The program started at 9:30, and the entire program revolved around giving the beauty queen contestants time to change. If they needed time to change, they would simply throw in a musical act.

Keep in mind that the girls in the beauty pageant are about fifteen years old. So watching the men stare at the contestants when they do the bathing suit contest is, well, uncomfortable. Cultural difference, I guess.

• I’m a security guard at heart – The president of the community told me to get to the fiestas around 8:00 because they wanted to start on time. Thinking that he actually intended to start the fiestas at 8:00, I showed up at 8:00. Well, they didn’t get underway until 9:20.

To occupy myself in this awkward window, I started shmoozing it up with the community security guards who stood around the soccer field to maintain order. There was some great conversation about what they were doing, what I was doing, and what it takes to be a security guard at neighborhood fiestas (very little).

I was able to rely on my experience as an usher at Comerica Park to chat it up with these guys. Although I worked the 2006 World Series, you have no idea what a high-pressure situation is until you are an Ecuadorian security guard put in charge of guarding the beer cooler.

• Thanks, again – Every time a new person came on stage to present or speak or sing or dance or prance, they began by thanking the neighborhood. Then they gave out individual shout outs: thanking the mayor, the city councilmen, the former beauty queens, etc., for their attendance.

The first time I heard this I thought it was nice that they appreciated that these people would use their time to attend these fiestas. But after every single person on the program thanked the same eight people, it became a bit repetitive and, dare I say, disingenuous.

• “Thank you, Prima— I mean La Libertad” – Well, the woman who they brought in to sing a few songs in between beauty pageant sections came on stage and thanked the neighborhood for giving her this opportunity to perform.

The only problem was that she thanked the wrong neighborhood. She tried to correct herself, but everybody realized what happened.

• Does he also do bar mitzvahs? – One of the highlights of the evening was when the neighborhood brought in a singer from the neighboring town to sing a few love ballads (They love their love ballads down here).

So the guy steps on stage and takes the mike. Before continuing with his set, he gives out his phone number if anyone is interested in hiring him for future events, clarifying his cell provider. Keep in mind that no one has heard him sing, yet. So how would they know whether they would like to hire him for their special event if they’ve never heard him before?

Also, if I am going to pay someone for an evening of work, the difference of ten cents in cell phone charges between should be insignificant.

After his set, he gave out the information again.