Sunday, May 28, 2006

Presser #2

Ian: I would like to open today's press conference with a statement about my trip to the market at the corner of Bezalel and King George in the City Cellar Shopping Center. It was the first time I bought something at a shopping center in Israel. I had visited before but couldn't find what I needed (err. didn't understand the packaging).

Today's mission: paper towel and cereal.

Mission accomplished.

Let me give a story and some observations about my time in line at the register. I bought seven items and decided that my best option would be the ten items and fewer line. When I get there, I noticed that the women who is being rung up has 15+ items. Is the ten items or fewer a suggested amount or a rigid barrier.

If it is a strict limit, what if you get to the line with ten items in your basket or hand, depending on how you choose to carry your groceries, and decide to purchase a pack of gum. Does this relegate you to the lines for everybody else or do you still maintain your under ten status?

Two more moments to recalll from the line before I get to answering your questions. The guy in front of me bought six bottles of pop. After the woman at the register scanned all of his items, she asked "it that all?" as if she was surprised that he only bought six items.

Aren't we in the line for people that only buy six items. Why was she surprised?

The guy behind me in line had two items: a yogurt and a bottle of milk. This is normal, right? Except that they were both empty. While paying for his items, he gave them to the cashier to throw them away.

OK, now hit me with the tough questions.

Chief consultant: Status check on the refrigerator.

Ian: Let me reach to open it up. Alright, we have 500 ml chocolate milk and one full Nalgene bottle in the door. On the racks, we have four yogurts, two eggplant dips, two partial containers (in terms of content not portions of containers) of hummus, one litre (some prefer it with an "er" at the end, I will use them interchangably) of orange juice, one liter of milk, and two apricots. Earlier today, I found an empty apricot container from more than a week ago.

I know exactly what you are thinking. Ian and milk? That's like Ian and alchohol. He only has small drops. I got a box of Raisin Bran and one of Toasted Oatmeal.

Chief consultant: Orange juice: pulp or no pulp?

Ian: I think we all know my stance on orange juice with pulp. To quote Daphna and Shira: "I am very anti it." However, I just tasted the orange juice I bought at the market and realized that it has some pulp. I will handle it for now, but I will rectify the situation in the future. The orange juice I had on the yom before yom yerushalayim was surprisingly low pulp.

Health Club Cookbook Illustration: Have you tried Moroccan food?

Ian: No, but I have eaten Yemenite food. In fact, I believe that the Yemenite restaurant did offer Moroccan food. I have trouble distinguishing between the two. At the restaurant, I ate a platter of grilled and roasted vegetables (similar to what my mom would order but this was actually on the menu)

Chief consultant: Most unhealthy food you have eaten since leaving America?

Ian: I don't know the nutritional value of shwarma or shnitzel, so I would have to put them near the top.

CTU: Thoughts on Jack Bauer's future?

Ian: I would like to see the next season be Curtis Manning spending 24 hours trying to rescue Jack from China.

Tiger's commercial Who's your Tiger?

Ian: Difficult to choose between children. I would have to say Jack Hannahan.

Another interesting moment from my experience at the market. I bought Orbitz: Professional chewing gum. It was better than Orbitz: Amateur, which was right next to it.

I want to remind you to continue to ask your questions. Once I feel like I have enough, I will answer them in press conference form.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

take it from an experienced grocery shopper, many a brawl has occurred along with unpeasantries exchanged in the express lane of grocery stores, not that it was me personally but a "friend of mine...."


( i'm thinking Billy Madison and a certain Miss veronica vaughn)

Anonymous said...

Ian-
Any thoughts on Hannahan's lackluster showing since his debut last Thursday against the Royals (as I'm sure you know, he was 0-6 Thursday and 0-3 Saturday night)?

Keep the posts coming...they are a joy to read. Finally, I promise we will catch up on the phone in the very near future.

Take Care. -David K

Anonymous said...

I am really surprised that nobody started yelling at the girl with the 15+ items....because once I did that in a supermarket in Tel Aviv and I had to play the "ani lo iodea ivrit" card...
--erick

Anonymous said...

Your next purchase can be a sieve type colander to catch the pulp from your oj.. I hear there is a kosher kitchen supply shop on Jaffa! You can then dry the pulp in the Jerusalem sun and eat it as orange fruit leather.
page 79, The Health Club Cooks.